My Diary (15)

2 weeks later

All Maya did these past two weeks was spend all the time she could afford by 5aled's side..
His hospital room was the first and last place she would go to for every single day..
She talked to him, told him stories about her childhood, wished he could hear her for one second, brought him food (although he couldn't eat, he was on a drip), she got him magazines, movies, cold beverages, shaving equipment, she bought him a men's perfume, a pair of jeans, and two tshirts from Zara..
She made the cold, blue room feel like home.
It broke her heart that his parents were out of the country and didn't know much about their son. They were too busy running the family business..and 5aled was the victim.

One evening

Maya was sitting by 5aled's side, she came back there after her hair appointmet, she had it cut, she wanted a new look, for 5aled.
She was covering his hand by her hands, talking to him, whispering to him about what she did that day, and how nice it would be for her to talk to him for real.
She wanted desperately to show him her new hair cut, she loved him, she wanted him to see it, to notice it, most of all to like it. Her patience was reaching more than her limit, she felt like she was drowning in her patience, gasping for air, to breathe again, but that only could happen if 5aled woke up.
She held his hand tighter, squeezed it softly and kissed it with passion. She looked at his closed eyes, rubbed his hair by her other hand, and smiled a broken smile.
She wished he was concious again, she wished she could wake him up, she was willing to lose anything in gaining his concious back. she wanted him so badly nothing could help her anymore. Lulwa couldn't comfort her anymore, no one could.
Nothing she did anymore could make her forget about him or even take her mind off of him for a while..
She thought about him constantly, he was the air she was breathing.
She couldn't take it anymore.. she was patient for long, she couldn't handle it anymore, she wanted him, she wanted to scream to bring him back but she knew screaming won't do her good.. she was prepared to cut off her arm for him to return to her..
She sat there crying her heart out, thinking about the day she met him, the day she saw him and fell imediately in love with him, she thought about how she never believed in love at first sight and that now she did.. because of him....because of 5aled.
She cried and cried, uncontrolably, she felt as if she was about to black out, her body couldn't hold back the tears, and at the same time was too weak for them to come out..
She felt totally lost..
She felt worthless..
She felt weak..
She felt sorry..
She wanted to die..
The pain was too much, she couldn't bare it any longer, she was desperate for it to go away, but that would only happen when 5aled woke up, and she knew that might not happen anytime soon.
"What would i do without u??" Maya said in between her sobs, crying uncontrolably, gasping for air.
Her heart couldn't take it any longer, her mind couldn't think straight anymore, her body was too weak to function, her sole was too lost to find its way back..
She lost hope.
'im not in a movie' she thought, 'he's never going to wake up'
And she cried harder, feeling useless...
Every second passed was like an eternity to her..
The pain never went away, it was like a knife was stabbed in her heart..
It was a mixture of pain, worry, and regret.
She put her head down, next to him on the bed, her arms over her head, crying like a new baby born, nothing was able to stop her from crying..
He was her only remedy..
She continued crying...........until she felt something...
She raised her head up, opening her swollen eyes, to see something she never thought possible, something she never thought would happen...
Maya froze...
'im imagining this' she told herself as she was about to put her head down again, holding his hand this time..
She felt it, again..
She felt him squeeze her hand back..
'im dreaming' she thought.. 'this's too good to be true'
She started breathing harder, as the nurse came in..
The nurse checked his pulse, blood pressure, temperature and heartrate, and some other stuff Maya didn't know what it was for..

"Look!" the nurse said with a smile, almost screaming
Maya saw what the nurse was all happy about, but she didn't want to put her hopes up again, incase she was dreaming..
"It looks like our patient is awake..." the nurse smiled, looking at Maya